THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
If anyone wanted to insult educated people’s intelligence, the makers of The Kids Are All Right (2010) certainly have. To take an iconic title like that and carbon copy it innocently onto a shameless movie like this is ridiculous.
Some of you may already perceive me as a militant bitch. I won’t lie: I am one. Someone has to be in this godforsaken world. This is one of those times where I am going to choose to be very insulted on behalf of the Western civilisation and generally civilised and cultured people. Deal with it.
Let me start by saying that the plot is perfectly alright. The two kids of a lesbian couple want to find out who their donor father is. But what could be a potentially eye-opening film, is nothing but a mere mockery of the situation.
The first lines the parents utter when their son is about to exit the house is “Come here and give us a hug”. Who says that to their 20-year-old kid? The way the mothers stretch out their arms invitingly is not so much cute and funny as desperate and a laughable attempt from the writers to really show how open and close everyone is with each other. Maybe I am insane (this is going to open up a can of worms….), but does this mean that being a lesbian is all about being in touch with each other and hippie-like? Christ.
Mark Ruffalo’s character could not be more disgustingly predictable. Some dude who’s down with lesbians and donates sperm because it’s “more fun than giving blood”? My ears bleed of revolt.
The plot, although simple, does not have enough meat on it. So add a little twist: the daughter wants more contact with her biological father. Please do not choke on your own vomit at this lousy excuse for a catalyst. It’s like pushing a dead animal forward with your bare hands: it’s pointless and painful.
The main excitement of this movie is the actors. Julianne Moore, Annette Bening and Mark Ruffalo do a wonderful job (at least according in the trailer). There’s a wonderful chemistry not only between all three of them, but also the two women. They are a pleasure to watch in everything they do and I am sure they will not disappoint here either.
But the chemistry that erupts between Ruffalo and Moore is a bit implausible. Why on Earth would Moore’s character all of a sudden fall for Ruffalo? Oh yes, that’s right. We’re still pushing the animal further forward.
This motion picture is not a serious attempt at making a true comedy or drama with a twist (being that there’s a lesbian couple as main characters). It is an excuse to use a contemporary and – dare I say – cool trend. Is this an American attempt at saying “Hey – we dig gay women, it’s cool?”.
And the climax arrives in a nick of time at the end of the 2.5 minute trailer, in the most conventional way thinkable. A montage of hugs and tears. All inclusive with lines like “Marriage […] sometimes you just don’t see the other person anymore”. Yikes. My face has never made more involuntary twitches than today.
What a joke.
UK release date: 29th October 2010
ENTER THE VOID
A sister and a brother make a pact to never leave each other. Their parents die and the children enter a world of sex, drugs and crime. Images of strippers, bright neon Las Vegas-like casino signs bursting into the viewers’ eyes like looking directly at the sun, cops, gamblers, psychedelic images penetrate you and keep your attention for a whole 2 minutes.
Enter The Void (2010) is another piece by Gaspar Noé, the enfant terrible and darling angel (impossible, you say?) of critics and fans alike. He infamously directed the cringe-worthy, stomach-churning and fabulous underground rape scene in Irréversible (2002), one of the most talked about films of the century so far. ETV is right up there already. Everyone is looking forward to another masterpiece and so am I.
I was initially taken slightly aback by the use of English, assuming that it would be in French. I am not sure how I feel about the use of language here as it would probably be a lot more convincing in French – but maybe I am wrong? English reminded me of mumblecore and Hamony Korine, which led me to think that this could be a potentially Americanised plot. When foreign directors use English, it cheapens their movie (Nicolas Winding-Refn productions excepted, by all means). This tends to happen when one director is hailed as a genius following the release of their first grand success and is then taken over by some desire to be even more universal as if they did not understand that the original language, in first movie, was part of what people loved about it. Shame. Let’s hope it is not the case here.
Bar the exploding lights and signs that run confusingly, staccato and almost unconsciously throughout the trailer, the movie contains some very thought-out, troubling and deep shots. The points of views are marvellous - none of that glamourous, shiny Hollywood junk you see in every summer blockbuster. It’s strong and stylish, accomplished and gritty. Very European.
It brings you a deceitfully harmonious explosion of psychedelic colours and patterns, only to be accompanied by a deep and dark soundtrack. What seems like a calm and controlled environment suddenly morphs into a chaotic confetti-like explosion of dirtiness.
And only then is it that you realise how little you in fact see of the main character’s faces. I am not sure what to make of it, but it is a touch I genuinely enjoyed. It adds intrigue and underlines the mystery and oddity that this movie is.
It’s a movie about promises and grittiness behind the scenes in a big city.
You may have seen it before. But not like this.
UK release date: 24th September 2010
MADE IN DAGENHAM
Good old British working class plot. With a glossy Hollywood look. Film of the year or massive failure? It might sound like I hate Hollywood and all its money, but I really don’t. I’m just tired of seeing the same stuff time and time again. Empty, flat, hollow motion pictures with a lovely surface and nothing more.
I just don’t know where to find the words for the disappointment this trailer has brought to me. Despite being produced by the BBC, this movie looks like absolute boredom. A naïve, willing, possibly entertaining piece of comedy with char. That is it.
But it’s not supposed to be like that. That is surely not the intention?
Made In Dagenham (2010) tells the tale of a group of women in Essex, led by Sally Hawkins, fighting for equal pay in the 1960s. Simple plot, meaning the story could be executed in best contemporary British style (e.g. Billy Elliot (2002), This Is England (2007), and so forth) or straight down-the-line roll-of-the-eyeballs nothingness.
The trailer is disappointing. It contains the entire movie’s big lines, delivers no real drama and is a predictable chick flick. It looks nice and pleasant, but I was expecting something with a bit more oompfh.
I don’t even understand the point of this movie anymore. Other than a potentially nostalgic look back at the era, it is empty. It does not ask anything of the viewer but to have eyes and the ability to understand English. There is not challenge here and certainly no gain unless you’re looking for something easy to fall asleep to. It will obviously look as cute as you could expect, but without actual content, there is no hope.
Made In Dagenham looks as bland as a Cumberland sausage.
UK release: 20th August 2010
Louise-Afzal Faerkel
No comments:
Post a Comment