Movie Review - Red Tails (2012)

Red Tails, 2012.

Directed by Anthony Hemingway.
Starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Terrence Howard, Ne-Yo, Method Man, Nate Parker, Elijah Kelley, Tristan Wilds, Theo James, David Oyelowo, Michael B. Jordon, Josh Dallas, Daniela Ruah and Bryan Cranston.


SYNOPSIS:

The true story of the heroic exploits of the Tuskegee airmen during World War II.


As much as I love film, there have been very few times where I’ve actually really anticipated the opening of a new movie. This year marks the arrival of probably the most anticipated film in the history of me; The Dark Knight Rises. But before the month of July can grace us with its presence, Red Tails managed to spark my interest from the very first time I viewed its trailer last year. Star Wars baby-maker and executive producer George Lucas lends his talents to this rather inspirational story about the Tuskegee airmen, their missions and the adversity they were faced with to earn and succeed in those missions.

Who else to lead a cast of predominantly African-American acting talent than Terrence Howard who to me sometimes looks, from the way he delivers his lines and throws his “coolness” into his parts, like he is vying for the title of ‘the next Denzel Washington’. He plays Colonel A.J. Bullard who heads the Tuskegee airmen program and fights and scraps to get his men a mission worth bragging about. After finding themselves doing nothing but “killing traffic” after a slew of assignments blowing up supply trucks and military trains, they finally receive their chance.

Under Colonel Bullard is Major Stance (Cuba Gooding, Jr.), who has appointed Martin “Easy” Julian (Nate Parker) as his squad leader. It’s easy to see from the get-go that Julian has some underlying problems which are revealed early in the film. He also has to deal with a hot-shot, fancy flying ace in the form of Lt. Joe “Lightning” Little as a wingman. Blessed with tons of skill, Little often breaks from the squad and does his own thing ignoring orders. Their first real test comes in the form of providing air cover for their white counterparts attempting to movie into enemy Nazi territory. Showing that they are more than capable of fighting the war like every other airmen, they are continued to have missions thrown their way despite the prejudice and scrutiny that they are constantly subjected to.

The most impressive aspect of this film should really come as no surprise. Yes, it was the special effects. They were clear, crisp and put you right in the action. As far as action adventure jet fighting movie magic goes, I’d put Red Tails among the top. The action comes quick and often and delivers on many levels. The only negative portion about the in-flight parts of the film I felt was the chatter. True, all good fighter pilot films have had creative talk and back-and-forth banter but this one seemed to have too much of it. To me, it felt as though some parts of the movie where there was communication between the pilots were kind of forced. Kind of like director Anthony Hemingway needed to fill in some parts of the movie for time reasons so he included extra lines for the actors to recite.

Moving from the best parts of the movie, the special effects, to the worst part. Overall, it felt like something was missing from the film. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it but it just had a feeling of absence somewhere within the story. I know the plot line is simply following the teachings and happenings of literal history but the film seemed to be missing a sort of “zing” or “pop” to really cause it go over the top. Perhaps it may suffer from the fact that we all already know what happens. At least if you showed up and actually paid attention in history class, you do. But there are plenty of other films which are based off of historical events and books, John B. Holway penned the novel of the same name, that still have that substance that leaves you feeling full as you walk out of the theater.

I was also expecting more from one Bryan Cranston who played Colonel William Mortamus, a Negro pilot-hating man who absolutely refuses to give them their due despite the successful missions that they put together. He was in a couple of scenes but then literally disappeared for the rest of the movie. All in all, I would still recommend this film to anyone, especially if you are history buff. Especially, especially if you are a military history buff. Especially, especially, especially if you are an African-American history buff. I give Red Tails “3 reasons to believe that war knows no color out of 5”.

“When you get mad or upset, you turn Red. When you get sick or jealous, you turn Green. When you turn into a coward, you turn Yellow. And you have the nerve to call us Colored.”

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

The Walking Dead - Who do you choose?

Sean Guard asks you to choose your side...

The grand New Year is nearly upon us, (Yay, Joy, Rapture, etc.), so everyone is of course resolutioning this and promising that once the clock strokes the ball-dropping tone of midnight. For those of us in tune with our favorite shows, I’m sure there are plenty that will use one of those New Year’s pledges to commit more of their time to watching them. One of those favorite shows should definitely be AMC’s The Walking Dead. If it’s not, you really don’t know what you’re missing. In any other case, not knowing what you’re missing might not be a big deal but this case simply does not apply. Watch the show, it’s good. I really don’t know how else to put it.

Since I’m trying to be kind, I’ll avoid revealing any major details about the plotline (insert SPOILER here). For those of you who watch the show and are fully aware of its sheer awesomeness, I have just one question for you; “After the single largest turning point within this second season occurred on the last brand new episode, what are your thoughts? Furthermore, whose side would you choose, Rick or Shane?”

We can look at some minor character traits that might help you to decide:

Rick:
Pretty much a born-leader but still struggling to make the major decisions, life-and-death, for his beloved people.
The responsible one; always thinking ahead and tries to do the right thing.
Painfully forgiving (those of you who watch know what I’m talking about).
Loving, caring, dedicated husband and father (blah, blah, blah).

Shane:
Second in command but seems to have gone over the edge.
Another leader but in the “Malcolm X by-any-means-necessary” kind of way.
Seems to receive the most sex out of any other character. I know random but still a trait.
Loving and caring but masked by the fact that his heart has possibly been bitten and not by a walker.

So my fellow “Watching Dead”, who do you choose as your next messiah to lead you through the zombie apocalypse? Personally, although I think it’s a tough choice, the conscientious part of me will always side with Rick. In the long run, it’s all about trying to survive and the possibility of having my leader shoot me due to his unstable mental state doesn’t quite sit right with me.

So lend your voices and opinions and reveal to us who you would follow. If you haven’t seen the series and would like to catch up or if you are a fan and would just like to relive its epic-ness, AMC will be showing an entire series marathon on New Year’s Eve beginning at 11am. Season 1 can also be found on Netflix Instant in its entirety.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

American Horror Story: won't kill you to try it... or will it?

Sean Guard on the U.S. television series American Horror Story...

FX brought us an original horror series by way of executive producer Ryan Murphy this past fall. With horror being my favorite genre, I was completely on board with this one long before it premiered in October. As every avid fan of their respective category, I had my reservations seeing as how it might be somewhat difficult to consistently scare an audience with a program that was limited to network cable. Airing at 10 PM definitely helped American Horror Story’s plight and increased whatever limits it would have placed on it due to not being able to use as many swear words or show “nudy-parts”.

With Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton and Jessica Lange (Golden Globe Best Supporting Actress in a series nominee) the show started off on the right couple of foots. The immediate response of many viewers was very similar to mine; the show was pretty, well uh, weird. But weird in a way that made you want to come back for more, and yes even more. For those of you who haven’t seen the show just yet, I’ll spare you any plot-spoiling details but the story revolves around a seemingly average American family. Average until their dark secrets are spilled out across the screen for all of us to judge and gossip over the next day with our friends. Even though the family is the forefront of the plot, the house that they move into in order to begin their lives anew is the real star of the show. There is very little that takes place outside of this spooky home dubbed “Murder House”.

The show touches on infidelity, trust issues, teenage insecurities, forbidden love, school violence and oh yeah sex. Especially from the young maid Moira played by Alexandra Breckinridge. Tie all of this in with the supernatural and you’ve got yourself a hit television show. The finale aired on December 21st and left a few cliffhangers after a pretty wild ride along the thin line of the living and the dead. The acting performances are truly something to behold as well, especially that of veteran actress Jessica Lange. She seems to bring the most passion and flavor to the show keeping it edgy and very engaging with the way her character changes emotions so rapid-fire and manipulates the others in some of the most unbelievable ways. There are many recurring guest appearances. Some are from the likes of Zachary Quinto, Mena Suvari, Morris Chestnut and Kate Mara.

Overall, if you’re a fan of horror or thrillers, you will definitely like this show. If your spooky side needs an excuse to show its face, then perhaps this is just the bait that it needs. 12 episodes of suspense, spookiness and tons of drama…it’s all packed in there. Next season will bring an entirely new storyline and host of characters according to Murphy so don’t get too attached to these.

If you’re a fan of the show, please share your thoughts on the past first season, your favorite episode or the season finale. What do you think of American Horror Story?

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Movie Review - Pinching Penny (2011)

Pinching Penny, 2011.

Written and Directed by Dan Glaser.
Starring Steven Moloney, Timothy J. Meyer, Ginny Glaser and Lauren J. Wertz.


SYNOPSIS:

A British hypochondriac becomes addicted to consumerism and turns to crime to fund his habit, eventually hatching a plot to kidnap a girl and hold her for ransom.


The most challenging aspect about the film, Pinching Penny, is being able to keep your focus on the fast paced story that goes around several nail biting curves on its way to the finish line. Director/writer Dan Glaser puts together a plot with some peculiar characters with many different ins and outs to keep the viewer engrossed enough to want to find out what eventually happens to them all.

Fargo, North Dakota, the setting for another famous twisting plotline, is the backdrop for a Brit and a Scot who decide to get their hands dirty. The Brit, Alex (Steven Molony), is the character that this story revolves around. He is also the one that narrates a bit of the film. He informs us right from the get-go that he has an addiction, a shopping addiction to be exact. His only problem is, like many junkies, is that he lacks the funding to feed his addiction. In order to do this, and be able to eat, with the help of his friend the Scot, Murphy (Timothy J. Meyer), they decide to try to rob houses. After a couple of failed attempts and a broken nose, they run across a rather attractive girl, Teddy (Ginny Glaser) who takes hold of the reigns on their ill-led operation.

She suggests and then commits a kidnapping of a young girl named Penny (Lauren J. Wertz). Their plan is to hold her for ransom until her rich father pays up. But until then, they still have no money for food or pretty much anything else. To solve this problem, Teddy has Alex go into the business of supplying clean urine for a group of underground drug-dealing and drug-using criminals who call themselves The Pawns. After the three of them get mixed up with these collection of extra-shady types, the movie goes into hyper-drive and shifts the characters into a place of drugs, guns, cops and body parts where they’ve never been before.

I feel that the title of the film may have a double meaning. Not only for the obvious description of the storyline, kidnapping a girl named Penny, but also to signify Alex’ addiction. Not being able get a stranglehold on his inability to hold onto whatever cash he can find ultimately gets him into trouble that places not only himself, but his friend and a completely innocent girl in danger as well.

The film is also packed with plenty of humor which complements the action and death toll. The plot hits some slow moments especially during the character developments of some of The Pawn members. But other than that, the twists and turns that take place will get anyone through to the end. If you like gun-toting criminals, drug use, an attention-grabbing kidnapper/hostage relationship and oh yes, shopping addictions, then you should definitely take this ride for a spin. I give Pinching Penny “6 missing kidneys out of 10”.

“If you don’t let me out of here with this fucking record player: I swear to God I’ll fucking shoot ya!”

This review originally appeared at ScreenInvasion.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Second Opinion - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, 2011.

Directed by Bill Condon.
Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Julia Jones, Billy Burke, Maggie Grace and Michael Sheen.


SYNOPSIS:

The newly-wed Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen find themselves contending with a threat that could destroy their world.


After just over a year, the Twi-nomenon has returned in all of its twi-glory. Twi-hards can be heard rejoicing all over the en-twire world. The twi-series is back to earning to some major twi-bucks. Okay, that’s enough of that. Love it, hate it or just not really caring much about it at all (I place myself in the latter), Twilight is guaranteed for at least one thing; complete box office dominance. It did not disappoint earning itself a spot behind the very epic Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 that premiered back in July for the second highest grossing opening weekend this year. Not bad, but there is a line to be drawn between quantity (ticket sales) and film quality. For those of you who follow my writing you might remember my mini-adventure involving Eclipse If not, you can read it here. Those of you who don’t should hang your head in utter shame. Since I put time and effort into that film, I figured I might as well attempt to do the same for this one. Only I didn’t, I was simply invited and figured ‘why not?’, if anything I’ll earn myself a free 2 hours of sleep. But while I actually felt that Breaking Dawn’s predecessor was a semi-decent film, I don’t really feel like I can say the same for the latest chapter however.

This one wastes absolutely no time getting right to the wedding of the year. An event that possibly rivaled Kim Kardashian’s in anticipation as well as price, it took up probably the first 15 minutes of the movie. With a mixture of living and un-dead guests on either side of her, the bride, Bella (Kristen Stewart), looked all kinds of nervous being escorted by her dad, Charlie (Billy Burke), down the aisle. Her groom, a pale white Edward (Robert Pattison) stood waiting for her. After the super drawn-out intricacies that were the ceremony and reception were finally over, the even more drawn-out honeymoon was somewhat painful to watch. Bella takes on the persona of a frightened mouse once they get to their hidden honeymoon destination. Absolutely terrified over finally “doing the act” with her newly acquired husband. An act that leaves her in an unexplainable physical state and forces the two of them to return home.

The third corner in the storied love triangle, Jacob (Taylor Lautner), still wasn’t very accepting to the fact that the love of his life was getting married to a member of his packs’ mortal enemy. Although struggling with all of this, this film seems to try to push his maturity level up a bit. He grows up and even plays around with the idea of being on his own, away from his brothers and sisters of the Quileute wolves. Upon learning of Bella’s “condition” after her and Edward return abruptly from their time away, he, without hesitation, springs to her side. He slowly but surely begins to realize that he must indeed put his feelings towards Edward and his coven of vampires aside and agree to do whatever he again to help her.

Breaking Dawn - Part 1 progresses at an almost nodding off to sleep pace. It has its moments of action and mildly interesting drama but they are very brief and far in between. Speaking more on Bella’s fright, Stewart’s portrayal of her virgin character was quite amusing truthfully. I don’t know if she was more afraid of not being able to please her new husband or if she was frightened for what a vampire might do to her during sex but it seemed impossible for her to hide it. The sex scene itself wasn’t really all that special in my opinion although the bed did become a casualty. The constant kissing and touching between the two of them throughout the entire film was a little unbearable. I know you guys are newlyweds but sheesh, get a damn room.

The majority of the movie revolved around that: the wedding and the honeymoon. By the time the plot finally really got going, it was about time for the credits to begin rolling. Even when the story hit its’ “high points”, they were followed by more slowness. It kind of felt like the characters were talking an awful lot but not really saying much. Possibly the most exciting part of the movie was the wolf showdown between Jacob and the alpha pack leader Sam (Chaske Spencer). Although the special effects somewhat took a back seat to the overall drama within this film, the resolution on the wolves themselves were again done pretty well. I personally would have liked to see more of my girl, Anna Kendrick, but I would have to make due.

One part of the story itself that I’m still pretty hazy on is the whole imprinting concept. In one of the previous films, Jacob tries to explain to Bella that it “isn’t exactly love at first sight”. But isn’t that what seeing someone and instantly wanting to be their absolute everything is? Someone please ask Stephanie Meyer to further clarify. After doing some research and realizing that Jacob imprints on an infant child, it all has a sort of pedophilic feel to me. Plus the term “imprint” sounds kind of dirty. “Hey dude, I think Naomi is mad at me. I tried aiming for the sheets last night but acidentally imprinted on her stomach instead.”

I was astonished that there were only a few shirtless scenes, with only one from Taylor “Abduction” Lautner. They’re probably just saving all of that skin to pack into next November’s finale. Kind of fitting, that this supernatural and rather unhealthy obsession finally comes to an end the month before the world is expected to cease to exist according to our good friends the Mayans. Coincidence? I’ll let you be the judge. Overall, I feel like Twilight possibly may have had something to do with our economy’s state but if I had to pick one film out of all of them, I’d have to stick with Eclipse being the “best” one. It had the most combination of plot happenings going on at once and even contained some funny parts. This one might as well ought to be called ‘Breaking Yawn’. I see why those couple of guys had seizures. Guess they couldn’t take anymore. I give The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 “3.5 bruising sessions of vampire sex out of 10”.

“It’s better to imprint on someone and be some kind of happy than to be completely alone and miserable.”

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

American Horror Story - Preview / Review of Episode 8 - Rubber Man

Sean Guard on the latest episode of the U.S. television series American Horror Story - "Rubber Man"...

Eight episodes in and this show is yet to disappoint. This week’s, “Rubber Man”, finally reveals who it is that is actually within the confines of that super spooky shiny black costume. The episode also continues to divulge the pasts of the many victims of the forsaken house that the Harmon’s reside in. Ben (Dylan McDermott) attempts to throw a life preserver around his drowning relationship with his daughter, Violet (Taissa Farmiga). She, herself, is continuing her peculiar relationship with the very dead and usually very creepy Tate (Evan Peters).

Vivien (Connie Britton) is just about at her wit’s end with everything that has happened to her since moving into her home. She begins to feel like she’s literally going crazy after more strange occurrences continue to plaque her. A little chat with Moira (Frances Conroy), her maid, pretty much takes her to the breaking point and she decides to try to escape the madness of the house for good by leaving. Something that proves to be much harder for her to accomplish than she thought.

Episode eight was just under something of epic. The writing and direction of the show continue to keep it very engaging. The continuous slow pacing maintains its scary movie atmosphere without becoming too predictable. This episode in particular had an especially specific feel to it as the audience learns more about the non-living inhabitants of the house as they themselves learn more about each other. After last week’s dis-“memberment” and murder of the one and only buyer, we can expect to keep on discovering more and more about them as well.

This brand new episode airs in the U.S. at the show’s normal time this Wednesday night at 10 only on FX.

What do you like the most about the show so far? Please share your thoughts and opinions with us!


Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

DVD Review - The Howling: Reborn (2011)

The Howling Reborn, 2011.

Directed by Joe Nimziki.
Starring Landon Liboiron, Lindsey Shaw, Ivana Milicevic, Jesse Rath, Niels Schneider, Frank Schorpion and Kristian Hodko.


SYNOPSIS:

A high-school loner finally bonds with the girl of his dreams, only to discover a dark secret from his past... that he is heir to a powerful line of werewolves.


A nice change from the usual supernatural beings vs. supernatural beings storyline, The Howling: Reborn focuses upon just one member of the group. I think out of all them, I might choose to become a werewolf if I were given a choice. Sure, vampires and monsters are cool but do you really want to live forever and drink nothing but blood all the time? With werewolves, you still get the super strength, fast healing powers and for some reason they always look like they’ve spent an eternity in the gym. You still get to eat regular food and see the sun from time to time. Yeah, I think I’ll take that one. Joe Nimziki’s film about the creatures is unrelated to any of the other Howling chapters, and there are plenty, but it is actually based upon the novel, The Howling II by Gary Bradner.

The plot is fairly easy to follow. A woman artist, Catherine (Ivana Milicevic), is unexpectedly attacked by an unseen assailant while she is pregnant. 18 years later, guess what? We are introduced to our main character, Will (Landon Liboiron), who lives with his single father and is on the horizon of graduating the lovely prison some of us call high school. Of course there is a beautiful girl, Eliana (Lindsey Shaw), he has been obsessing over for the past four years but has never had the guts to even say hi. He has some choice run-ins with her Abercrombie & Fitch boyfriend that leave him a little scratched and bruised. On the day of graduation he begins to feel a little strange and notices his body is going through some changes that he can’t credit to puberty anymore. Throughout the day, he faces many encounters as his mysterious past origins are finally explained and he takes a chance on life and love with the girl of his dreams.

With the basic storyline and decent special effects, The Howling: Reborn adds another entertaining installment into Lycanthrope history. The film itself does a little bit more explaining of the rules of being an actual werewolf than it does of actually showing them but when they do appear on screen, they do not disappoint. The fight scenes are brief but effective. It brings to light the struggle between being a monster and trying to hold onto their human side that some movies do not. It seemed to use this factor as some sort of metaphor for the feeling of freedom and sheer fright of entering the real world after graduating high school. Both are major coming of age events, well if werewolves were real anyway.

Some of the acting felt a bit drawn out and made certain portions of the film feel too slow and dragging but overall the actors did a decent job in capturing what they were supposed to: being a werewolf and those afraid of them. The ending suggests there’s an opening for another film but then again almost every movie about supernatural creatures do. Nimziki said that he would be open to revisiting the story and brining us another part but only time will tell. I give The Howling: Reborn “5.5 growing pains of realizing you’re a werewolf out of 10”.

“People used to ask God the questions they didn’t have the answers to. Now everyone goes to Wikipedia.”

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Special Features - Sean's Halloween Horrorfest

With Halloween upon us, Sean Guard casts his eye over a spooky selection of scary movies...

The day that they call All-Hallows-Eve is upon us. Every year we think about creative ways to dress up our children in cute and funny little costumes so they can pretend to be someone else for a day. The more candy they bring home the higher their confidence and energy rises along with parents’ frustration of now having super-hyped children doped up on sugar running around the house. Halloween also gives women the excuse to dress in skimpy outfits and not be ridiculed for it. Honestly, I think if females could wear these outfits to work, they would. I mean we (men) aren’t going to stop them. We’ll simply have to sacrifice some production at work to get another type of sweets; Eye-candy.

Those of us who love film, however, coincide Halloween with the horror genre. Oh, how we love it so. For us, Halloween is an excuse for us to scare the liquid crap out of those un-brave souls who always prefer to watch another type of movie. Well this is our time and we reserve the right to embrace it. No, I haven’t seen every horror film in the very vast library of spookiness and I will even admit that I am missing some of the classics on my career list. But in my quest to see as many as I possibly can before the good Lord decides to return and place judgment upon us all, I was able to see and deem an opinion on these select couple that will follow below.

Some were good, some were bad and some shouldn’t have been allowed to be included in our proud genre altogether. After you check out some of my picks this year, please lend your voices - well, more like your keyboards - to give your thoughts on these flicks...

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE):

This one wasn’t as D-gusting as I thought it would be. The sheer idea or thought of having your mouth surgically attached to someone else’s anus was more disturbing than actually seeing it onscreen. Every good twisted film needs an equally as twisted mad scientist/doctor as its main character. Dieter Laser is just this as Dr. Heiter. Not too bloody of a flick and not much of a “jump-movie”, it still qualifies as pure horror. Roger Ebert regressed to assigning it zero stars along with its’ recently released sequel which I will be seeing soon. On my Halloween scare/gross meter, I’ll say it’s not for the squeamish.




DREAM HOUSE:

I had high hopes for this film dominated with English actors. Keyword here being had. Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts all star in a movie which begins having you think that it’s about yet another haunted house. If you have seen any part of the trailer, then you know to think differently. Those hopes that I had quickly drowned about 30 minutes into it and the ending did nothing to resuscitate them. Take my experienced horror-word for it and don’t waste your time. Please. I beg you.






SCREAM 4:

Yeah, I watched it. I figured I saw all of the previous three, why not? For those of you who haven’t seen the fourth Wes Craven installment in the franchise released earlier this year, it’s the same basic premise. Neve Campbell arrives back in her home town where the original Scream took place and people begin to die. Pretty cut and dry. The only thing that impressed me about this one is that I was unable to predict who the killer was. I usually pride myself on two things when it comes to horror flicks; not jumping and figuring out who the killer/slasher/masked bad guy is before they are revealed. This film did a decent job on keeping you guessing. If you’re a fan of the series, check it out. Oh yeah, there’s going to be more…



THE THING (1982):

John Carpenter’s remake of the 1951 original classic is a brilliant one. He really knew how to capture the essence of suspense and terrified anxiousness that the characters were going through and project it upon the audience. The special effects are superb and make you want to throw up (in a good way) every time they are showcased. Furthermore, it was another film that made me break the other one of my prided aspects about myself, it made me jump. I almost paused the movie to ask myself what had just happened. I haven’t seen the recent film that Hollywood has marketed as a prequel but with all of the state-of-the-art special effects that are at filmmakers’ disposal nowadays, it better be grrrreat.



NIGHT TRAIN:

More of a thriller than an actual horror flick, Night Train begins with a good ambience of mystery and suspense. It obviously takes place aboard a train and in the middle of winter. Danny Glover, Leelee Sobieski and Steve Zahn come across a box of jewels previously owned by a very recently deceased passenger. They wrestle among themselves about whether or not to turn them in or split them between each other. This one is more like a sit back and be disappointed than a be scared and entertained kind of movie. Enough said.





CABIN FEVER 2: SPRING FEVER

If you saw the first Cabin Fever, then you already know what to expect. If you haven’t then be prepared to be grossed out. Lots and lots of blood is spilled as the flesh eating virus from the first one makes its way to a high school and into the senior prom. Many students with college aspirations will instead have to settle for, well, death instead. Not much to the plot in this one. Just expect to see blood, body parts and then more blood.







RED STATE:

This action/drama/thriller/horror, as I categorize it, from Kevin Smith didn’t receive too many positive comments. But I liked it. Michael Parks plays Pastor Abin Cooper, a self-proclaimed “man of God” who leads a small following of people who are a part of his Five Points church. They are a serious group of extremists who kidnap a trio of teenage boys who think they are meeting an older woman for sex. Cooper takes it upon himself to teach them and everyone else a lesson that he doesn’t feel are following the good teachings of the Lord.

The movie has its’ slow moments, especially when the over the top Pastor gives a rather long sermon expressing pure hate and discontempt for those who are adulterers, homosexuals and participate in sex before marriage. John Goodman plays ATF agent Keenan who attempts to take down the pastor and his hate group. The story really opens your eyes to the many organizations out there who are truly blinded by their own goals and only see what they want between the covers of the Bible. The plot appears to begin to stall late in the movie but the ending wakes you back up and forces you to pay attention. The last line of the entire film is hilarious.



THE LAST EXORCISM:

A combination of exorcism and the documentary-style theme of “found footage” movies are borrowed in this flick. Patrick Fabian plays Reverend Cotton Marcus who is filming a documentary exposing exorcisms of “possessed” individuals to be fake and completely untrue. While he is a man of the cloth, he does not believe in demons and ghosts and things of that nature. He accepts a request from a single father who believes that his young daughter is possessed and needs help. Ashley Bell plays Nell, the sixteen-year old daughter who is afraid and has no idea of the gruesome killings of farm animals that her father has pinned on her. During his attempt to “help” the family, Marcus realizes that the girl truly is possessed and must try to rediscover his faith. In terms of being scary, it has its’ moments but doesn’t truly achieve a spooky factor until the very end, which of course is where the movie abruptly stops. Maybe it’s a good thing that there is a sequel planned for next year. Kudos to Bell for a great performance as the possessed victim however.



THE RESIDENT:

So here we have a horror film which takes place in my hometown of Brooklyn, NY. Hillary Swank plays a doctor who locates a great apartment right by the Manhattan Bridge. She also locates the buildings’ owner, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Having just gotten out of a relationship where her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, she quickly makes the move on her landlord. Almost in mid-sex, she decides to re-nig on their newfound romance only to return to her ex-boyfriend. Morgan plays a very troubled man who simply melts when receiving “we’re good friends” as an answer. Stalking seems to be his career profession as the movie goes on. Quite predictable and taking way too long to hit any kind of climax, I would pass on this flick. Other than Morgan’s performance, it was kind of a waste. I will say however, that some of his “stalking” could have been interpreted as being sweet. He is clearly a man in love after she made the first move. Word to the wise ladies, be very sure before you offer even the slightest mention of nookie to a possible suitor.



DEVOUR:

I don’t have much to say about this one. Jensen Ackles and Shannyn Sossamon star in a movie where a group of friends begin playing an online game called “The Pathway” and then subsequently begin to die. The entire movie and especially the ending prompted one word to jump into my mind: Confusing.



So there you have it, my viewings for this year. Of course I will no doubt continue to watch and rate horror films but Halloween just makes it all the more fun. Television has even stepped up its game when it comes to horror by bringing us the great so far shows of The Walking Dead on AMC and American Horror Story on FX. The storylines are dynamic and continually force you to return each week for the next episode. So don’t worry horror fans, we are no longer subjected to only dry dramas and comedies lacking the ability to make us all laugh. Life is looking up. Scare forth and prosper fellow horror junkies and Happy Halloween!

This post originally appeared at Napier's News.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.12 - "And When I Die"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the season four finale of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood - "And When I Die"...

My fellow fans of one of the better HBO original series, I write to you this time with a shocked and rather saddened demeanor. If you’ve been following my re-caps of the show that I sometimes refer to as the Blood that is True, then you may already have an idea as to why I am so sad. As much as I would love to begin this final review of the fourth season with that very reason, I must start at the right spot. That spot being the beginning.

Jesus quickly realizes that something is not quite right with the love of his life, Lafayette, when he tries to kiss his boyfriend goodbye. After a pretty awkward lip-to-lip exchange, he receives a fork through the hand for his discovery. Elsewhere, everything seems pretty normal after the battle with Marnie. Even though Halloween is upon the town of Bon Temps, its citizens are all carrying on as normal. At least as normal as they can.

Sam pays his last respects to his brother, Tommy, as he is finally laid to rest. Mrs. Fortenberry unexpectedly shows up and says some nice words to Sam about his brother. The arrival of Luna and her daughter makes it an even better burial for Sam as he realizes that he is not alone. Back at the restaurant, Arlene and Terry welcome Sookie back in full Halloween theme. Zombie-fied in their costumes, they direct her to the reason why she has returned, which is to speak to Sam.

Back at Lafayette’s place, Marnie/Lafayette has Jesus tied up and threatens to cause Lafayette’s body some serious harm if she doesn’t get what she wants. What she wants is relieve Jesus of his dark demon-side magic to use for herself. She does this by stabbing Jesus directly in the chest and licking the blood off of the knife that pierced his skin. The wound that she leaves upon Jesus’ chest proves to be fatal as he eventually dies. Kind of sad to see him go. He was a good dude, especially for our usually pissed off Lafayette.

Sookie finds Sam in his office and offers her condolensces for the death of his brother. He gives her her job back and says that she has to start right away. Immediately after this, she runs into Alcide at the bar where he drops some pretty heavy, philosophical words of wisdom on her. In a somewhat roundabout kind of way, he comes pretty close to what we all already knew; that he has feelings for her. He also makes it known that he is now completely finished with Debbie and wants to be drama-free before receiving a phone call. He quickly excuses himself, but not before instructing Sookie to make sure to stay alive.

We then cut to Tara arriving at her cousins’ home and discovering Jesus’ body, lifeless. She quickly, somehow (a somehow that is not explained to us), deciphers that Marnie has taken over Lafayette’s body. She gathers up Sookie and Holly and takes them to where Marnie/Lafayette now has Bill and Eric silvered and tied to a stake, helpless. Holly performs a spell to protect the two vampires from Marnie while she is distracted. All of sudden, Antonia, Sookie’s Gran and many other dead folk appear and stop Marnie from her madness. Despite trying to fight them, pleading that her work isn’t done yet, she eventually leaves with them, to take her place in the after-life, and rest in peace.

You would think the episode is nearly over. You, of course, would be severely mistaken. Jason decides to confess his sins to Hoyt about his sexual escapade with Jessica. To this news he receives a beat down at the hands of now ex-best friend. Later in the episode, Jessica, dressed as a very naughty Little Red Riding Hood, pays Jason a visit and I don’t need to tell you what happens next. She does, however, make it very clear that all she wishes to have with Jason, at this point, is sex and nothing more. She doesn’t want to hurt Jason as she hurt Hoyt and is scared to become truly intimate with him. After the sex, she rushes off and there is an immediate knock at Jason’s door. In front of him stands Reverend Newlin from Season fricking 2! He’s back and with fangs! Don’t invite him in Jay!

After Arlene meets an old Marine buddy of Terry’s who makes a surprise visit, she receives a stopover from another unforeseen guest; Rene! His ghost almost startles her into a heart attack behind Merlotte’s. He warns her of remaining with Terry for he has a dark past and she should be aware of their future together. Elsewhere, Sam and Luna enjoy some kissy-face before Luna decides it’s time for her to take her daughter home. She warns Sam of getting to comfortable with their “relationship” because things always manage to go awry with her when they are looking up. After she leaves, Sam finds himself face-to-face with a growling wolf. Who could it be? We all saw Marcus die, perhaps one of his pack member’s? We’ll just have to wait and see.

On possibly the lightest note of the entire episode, Andy tries to make amends with Holly. He confesses his “V” problem to her and that he is ready to make someone happy, if they would only let him. She tells him that she isn’t really ready for anything but would welcome a hug. The scene ends with the two of them locked in an embrace.

A quick check-in with Pam shows her at a very vulnerable time. She is truly fed up with the one that they call Sookie. She can’t understand what hold Sookie has over her maker, Eric. This is probably the most emotional, except for last week, that we’ve ever seen Pam. We find Alcide answering the call that he got earlier. He arrives at a parking lot to find a tremendous hole in the cement ground. Within the hole lies a silver chain. This means only one thing; ex-vampire king, Russell Edginton, is back.

Back to more drama, as we find the threesome of Sookie, Bill and Eric back at Bill’s mansion. A long conversation about whom she should pick ends with her choosing…..no one. A good choice if I do say so myself. I for one got tired very early of their love triangle story line. A bit too Twilight-ish for my tastes. She leaves and the former face of the AVL arrives. She explains that she’s been fired and was instructed to deliver the true death to both Bill and Eric. She offers to form an alliance with them both to which they respond by killing her.

Now we arrive at the worst part of the episode. Sookie arrives home looking for Tara who has just finished comforting Lafayette over the loss of Jesus. She walks among the darkness to find Debbie, armed with a shotgun nonetheless, lurking amongst her kitchen. She points the weapon in Sookie’s direction and pulls the trigger. Just then, Tara shows up and jumps in front of the bullet catching it in her head. Now, it was somewhat hard to see, I’m sure the producer’s did this on purpose, whether or not she got shot directly in the head or the bullet just grazed her. But there was a lot of blood for simply a graze. After Tara collapses to the ground, Sookie tackles Debbie to the ground overcome by rage and anger. She points the shotgun at Debbie’s throat. Despite her pleas for Sookie to not kill her, her brains are splattered all over the refrigerator that stood behind her when Sookie pulls the trigger. She then finds her back over to Tara and the episode ends with her screaming for help. I think this episode had more people dying that any other they have shown. Must be some kind of record.

My guess is that both Bill and Eric will come rushing to her aid and pour their blood down Tara’s throat, saving her life. This could result in so many possibilities, seeing as how the receiver of vampire blood usually becomes connected to the giver and lusts after them sexually. That could get hairy seeing as how both of them are Sookie’s exes. Either that or the producers have killed off my favorite character on the show. Now we will never get to see her naked. Seriously, I loved, I mean love Tara. She needs to not die so much. My pleas are to please not kill her off. I’d rather see Sookie die than see Tara die and she’s the true main character of the entire thing.

In other thoughts, I loved this fourth season. I think it was the best one out of all of them. It had so much going on. Storylines galore and drama to keep you busy for months. I will only remove a point due to the annoyance that was Sookie, Bill and Eric. We’re all going to truly need to grasp onto the goodness that this season delivered because we must now wait until next summer to see how everything turns out. Yes, that is a long time, a very long time. All in all, I hope that next season is just as good as this one, if not better. They can achieve this by firstly reviving my girl, Tara. I can’t emphasize enough just how much this needs to happen. I give True Blood Season 4 “9 loooong months of waiting sucks out of 10”.

“I’m so over Sookie and her precious fairie vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F**k Sookie!” - Pam

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.11 - "Soul of Fire"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the latest episode of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood - "Soul of Fire"...

All of the several major story-lines in this epic season have dwindled down into about only two. The first one being the battle, more like war, between the vampires and the witches. Led by their king, Bill, the vampire quartet of him, Eric, Pam and Jessica reach a stalemate when they first arrive at the witch shop ready to do some major damage to it. They are all stopped by Jason who warns them his fairy sister, Sookie, is trapped inside among many others. Bill and Eric both immediately agree to re-think their strategy much to Pam’s dismay.

Elsewhere, Sam and Alcide manage to force the whereabouts of Marcus out of one of his pack members. With the arrival of Luna, Sam and Alcide learn that Marcus has kidnapped her and his daughter. We are then shown that Marcus intends to run away with not only his stolen daughter but a stolen girlfriend as well. He tries consistently to convince Debbie, Alcide’s woman, to come away with him. She fights him but it can be seen that she may change her mind at any moment.

Back at the shop, Marnie has gained total control over Antonia and killed one of her hostages who took a run at her. Jesus comes up with a plan to force Antonia out of Marnie’s body in order to weaken her enough to stop her. He taps into some pretty dark magic which forces his pretty scary “demon side” to show its very ugly face.

Upon learning of the vampire’s arrival, Marnie tries to strike up a deal with them. In exchange for Sookie’s release, Bill and Eric must each face the true death. A deal that both of them agree to, rather quickly, to my surprise. Pam and Jessica, as well as Sookie, are shocked and completely against it. With tears streaming down her face, Eric kneels to take the bullet from Bill that will cause his existence to end. But right before this suspense-filled event is to happen, Pam snatches up a rocket launcher and fires it directly at Marnie. The rocket explodes when it hits the magical protection barrier running around the shop. Marnie and Sookie are left unharmed, along with all of the vamps, but Jason is critically wounded in the blast.

Andy, while desperately trying to find his way home after being deserted by his cousin, randomly comes across a fairy. She attacks him at first, thinking that he is a vampire due to his intake of “V”, but realizes he is human soon after. Without rhyme or apparent reason, she mounts him when he awakes and begins to make love to him. But before they begin, she makes him swear by the light in her finger, that if they f**k, he must always protect her. Of course he agrees and they have a little romp in the woods on the grass. Congratulations are in order to Andy, probably the only character on the show who hasn’t gotten any booty yet.

Sam, Luna and Alcide discover that Marcus and his daughter are at Alcide’s house with Debbie. They storm in on Marcus and Debbie still having their conversation and a very heated brawl in sues between Sam and Marcus. Alcide allows them to fight without interruption but he is not very happy with Debbie at all. Sam defeats Marcus but decides not to kill him. Marcus then makes a grab for Sam’s gun but is stopped by Alcide who quickly ends his life. He then explains to Debbie that they shall not be together any longer. She pleads with him but it makes no difference, he quickly silences her in his anger and storms out.

After the explosion at the witch shop, Eric is furious with Pam and orders her from his sight. Jessica isn’t happy with Bill either but quickly finds a dying Jason and once again feeds him her blood. He eventually heals and the two stare at each other. Obviously their feelings are growing quite rapidly for each other. Without warning, Marnie casts yet another spell, this time forcing the vampires to walk towards the protection barrier outside the shop against their will. At the same time, Jesus is nearing the completion of his own spell to force Antonia from her body. Its then suspense against suspense as we wait to see whose spell reaches completion first. Jason tries his best to force the vampires back but to no success.

Needing everyone’s life force, the hostages are forced by Marnie to join hands in a circle, including a reluctant Sookie. As the vampires get closer and deadlier closer to the barrier which would end them as quickly as if they walked out in the sun, the suspense grows. Sookie’s fairy powers then reveal themselves yet again after she overhears Jason’s thoughts claiming that the vampires will die soon. She breaks the spell and rescues the vampires. Just as Marnie is about to punish Sookie for what she has done by way of death by fire, Jesus manages to complete his spell and relieves Marnie of Antonia.

With the protection barrier now broken, the vampires bust inside to do what they came to do. Marnie’s sole loyal follower suffers a death at the hands of Eric who rips his heart out and then uses one of the ventricles to suck its blood out like a straw. Pretty gross, yes, but also very gangster. It’s good to have the old Eric back. King Bill then unloads a few rounds into Marnie and one into her head leaving her dead.

With everyone safe, they all return home. Jesus and Lafayette revisit the night’s events while preparing for bed. But right before Lafayette falls asleep, he sees a hovering apparition of Marnie which quickly takes over his body. Here we go again. The plot thickens even further now leading into the last weekend of the fourth season. With Marnie now apparently back, again, the gang will need to rally to defeat her once and for all. I am also very anxious to see what storylines are set into place for next year’s fifth season. Last episode on the way folks. ‘Til then, go forth and do bad things.


Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Special Features - Please Silence your Phones.. and your Mouths

Sean Guard calls for quiet in the multiplexes...

I’m sure it’s all happened to us. You finally find some spare time to take in a movie. You check your local listings, find someone to go with, arrive at the theater, empty half of your savings account for two tickets, locate the theater playing your film, seek out two seats, nestle into them and prepare yourself to enjoy roughly two hours of uninterrupted entertainment.

Wait; did I just say the word ‘uninterrupted’? It appears that I did. I’m sorry, I was referring to life in an ideal world. A movie world that just doesn’t exist unless you’re rich and have managed to build your own in-home theater. A film sanctuary that you can retreat to when the burdens of actual life have become too much to bear. A place where there are no ticket lines, concession stands, sticky floors and gum-stained seats. Where the lead-usher is none other than yourself and you reserve the right to remove anyone you damn well please because, simply put, you can…and oh, you will.

But my friends, this place does not exist for us normal folk. Those of us who have to find our way to the theater when a movie we want to see is released. We try to abandon our everyday lives in order to lose ourselves in a fictional, or sometimes non-fictional, story for a temporary period of time. After this time has elapsed, we can return to our normal lives recharged until we again feel the need to re-visit that place we call the Movie House.

Now back to my previous statement regarding that special word ‘uninterrupted’. You don’t really realize how distinctive of a word it is until you can no longer experience it. I have to come to the conclusion that being able to actually go to the movies and watch one in quiet is a privilege that we take for granted. Let’s remember that nothing likes to be taken for granted, especially not privileges. That’s we wind up losing them. Freedom was a pretty cool privilege to have, then for many groups of people throughout history, it disappeared. Freedom still gets taken away today. It happens every time a man gets married.

Whenever you enter a movie theater and sit in those sometimes comfortable seats that recline (I like to put my feet up on the chair in front of me), you run the risk of losing that privilege of quiet. You would think that during something that requires quiet, such as a movie, that privilege would go without saying. You would be drastically mistaken my friend. If you would be so kind, lend your very intelligent ears to a little example:

I recently attended a showing of the anticipated horror film, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Being a pro-horror movie person myself I was quite looking forward to seeing it. Guy Pearce, Katie Holmes and rising actress Bailee Madison starred in the movie which turned out to be kind of sub-par. Now I say that because it became difficult to judge the film with people chatting all throughout it. I use the term ‘chatting’ very loosely. It was more like a mini-convention in there. I wasn’t sure if I was at movie or a conference for people who like to talk through movies.

Now I realize it was a scary movie. People usually jump and scream and yell at some point during it. That’s fine; I’ve come to terms with myself that those things will happen. It only means that those scenes during the film were successful in what they were created to do. But there’s a rather broad line between screaming because you were startled and having a full blown conversation through the entire film. If you wanted to talk while watching a movie, that’s what they created DVD’s and DVD players for. Not good enough? That’s cool. There are other options like Netflix, On Demand and all of the premium movie channels on cable and satellite providers. Before them were VCR’s and laser discs. All so you can view whatever the hell you want from the comfort of your own talking filled home.

Continuing on with my description of the lack of peace and quiet during this specific movie, there was an entire row of folks behind me who found something funny about every scene. Either that or one of them were an aspiring comedian and decided to try out their material while I was trying to watch a movie. Either one is unacceptable in my book. Sorry. We aren’t watching a comedy, it’s a scary movie for goodness sakes. Yes, some horror films are at that significant level of cheese that makes them funny and quite good to laugh at. But again, you’re not at home, you’re in a theater with other people who have paid their hard earned $11.25-plus for tickets to watch a movie and not be a part of Chatter Fest 2011.

In addition to these talk show hosts in the making, a couple sitting directly behind me spoke in perfect volume about everything they did earlier in the day to their aspiring life plans, all while the movie was playing. I’ll put it like this; the movie is 99 minutes long. They spoke for 115 minutes. Yup, that includes the damn previews. I ask one simple question to people like these… why? Why? Why would you do that? Why would you mess up a perfectly good movie, even if it turns out to be bad, for others who honestly want to watch it? It is because of pretend-movie-participants like these that I can’t honestly tell you if I enjoyed the movie or not. My overall film-going experience was tainted by their incessant speaking. At one point, I felt I may have had to restrain my date, who was getting that look in her eye, from leaving her seat and proceeding to let everyone know just how much she didn’t appreciate all of their conversation.

By the movies end, I felt like something had been stolen from me. I felt robbed of my time in the theater. Time that I have always held as being special. I’m sure other film lovers can attest that the period that takes place in between the opening and closing credits is a long moment where you want to be entertained and try to enjoy yourself as much as possible. It’s something that you feel you cannot get back, because watching a DVD at home (no matter how impressive your surround sound is) isn’t always the same as ‘feeling’ it while in the theater. Sound corny? Yeah, I agree, it’s a little corny, but it’s how I feel about film. To have that feeling tarnished by those who don’t care the same way is literally like taking money out of my pocket, especially with the mega prices that theaters charge nowadays.

So let’s re-cap shall we? Some films are good to have vocal reactions from. Comedies make us actually LOL. Horrors make us jump and are much welcomed when your girl clutches your arm and moves closer to you. Romances make some people cry and let out a few of those rather annoying “Awwwwwww’s” (rolling my eyes). Even some thrillers will make us talk to our movie-partners or even to our own minds when the story takes that unexpected twist. But none of them, I repeat, none of them, not even one causes you to have a full blown conversation with the person sitting next to you and definitely not with yourself at any point. So do everyone who actually came to see the movie a tremendous favor and introduce your upper lip to your bottom one and shut the F**k up! Thank you.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.10 - "Burning Down the House"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the latest episode of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood - "Burning Down the House"...



Our episode begins with a couple of revelations. Well about two and a half if you really want to be technical. In stopping her new boy-toy, Eric, from introducing her past lover to the true death, she realizes that she still very much loves Bill. As if the rest of us didn’t already know that. Another revelation is that the Antonia half of Marnie/Antonia felt extremely guilty about the killing of many innocent people due to her attack. You can see the doubt as well as regret all over her face. The third is that although Eric now has all of his memories back, he actually stills love Sookie. My only question to this is, although it’s all sorts of sweet of disgustingly romantic, what the hell is going on? Did anyone ever see Eric, a Viking badass, falling in love with a fairy? I know I didn’t. Well I kind of did but was just hoping against hope that it didn’t.



Alcide is shown racing a beaten, broken and very bloody Tommy to the hospital. He explains to the werewolf that his injuries aren’t just from the beat down he received from his pack but do to his shifting into Sam as well. He convinces Alcide to take him to see his brother one last time. Yes, I said one last time as Tommy will not see any more True Blood episodes as he dies holding Sam’s hand. Sam and Alcide then decide to take on his now former pack to avenge the loss of the former’s brother while Debbie wastes no time at all getting rather cozy with the pack leader himself.



Tara and the rest of the Marnie/Antonia followers are still locked away in her shop with no hope of ever leaving. Little do they know that after what happened at the Tolerance Rally, Bill decides to mount an all out offensive on the witch and her crew. He wants to blow up the store and rid himself and the world of Antonia for good. During a moment of alone time between the two, we realize that Antonia is actually the half of them that wants to stop what they are doing. She doesn’t want to cause anymore pain to the innocent. Plus she realizes that freeing the entire Earth of the undead will be a lot more trying than she originally planned. But Marnie wants her to continue. She wants to be used as Antonia’s vessel to do her bidding. Reluctantly Antonia agrees and decides to continue their mission against the vamps.



Jason finds himself feeling awfully guilty after having a very hot session of vampire sex with his best friend’s ex-girl. Jessica tries to convince him that they shouldn’t feel bad about what they had just done but this doesn’t work on Jason. After he, stupidly, asks her to glamour him so he can forget what had just happened, she takes some offense to that and runs off. I guess even vampire chicks get mad if you f**k them and try to kick them to the curb. After this exchange between the two them, Jason finds himself having to bunk with Hoyt after his heart broken friend shows up at his door wanting out of the home where he and Jessica had made a life for themselves.



Sookie enlists the help of Lafayette, Jesus and Jason to try to free Tara and the others after she cannot convince Bill to stop his plan of destroying the witch shop. Jesus manages to break through Marnie/Antonia’s protection spells surrounding the building by utilizing his demon-half powers, I guess that’s what they are called, and earning the trust of Antonia. Once inside, he too discovers that Marnie is willingly allowing Antonia to inhabit her body to destroy the vampires. He tries to warn Sookie and the others but not before Tara tries to make a break for it and everyone is caught.



Having found some of Andy’s “V”, Terry takes his druggie cousin out to their old fort that they used to play at when they were kids. Some quality time, target practice, family wrestling and one long conversation later, Andy agrees to get better. He promises to toss his “V” habits aside for good and get clean. I guess we’ll see just how long this time lasts.



The entire episode comes to a close with Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica all decked out in some very dangerous looking black get-ups on arriving at the witch shop with some very heavy artillery. Will they succeed in their mission of completely blowing up their nemesis? Especially now that Sookie, the common love of Bill and Eric, is inside without their knowledge. Things continue to get pretty heavy on True Blood. With only two episodes left in the season, can you guess what may happen? If you do, share it with the rest of us. If you need some inspiration in getting ideas, then go forth and do bad things.



Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.9 - "Run"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the latest episode of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood - "Run"...



Sookie is dying! Sookie is dying! No, not really. Obviously they weren’t going to kill off the main character of the series. Sookie survives and the first thing she does…has an erotic dream which begins with Bill and Eric fighting over her and turns into a sexual threesome. Who knew the goody-good had it in her? What I was upset about is the way she just ignored my boy Alcide. He was the one that rescued her from the fray between the vamps and witches in the first place. Putting his own relationship on the line, he brought her to safety. Finally coming to grips with his own frustration and Sookie’s blind constant leaping into the direction of danger, he claims that he is “done” and walks out of her life.



Back at his own household, Debbie is up watching none other than Cheaters on T.V. She pretends to be asleep as he slides into bed next to her. She is obviously upset and hurt that her boyfriend just couldn’t leave the mind-reader alone. She falls off the wagon, begins taking “V” again and devises a plan of her own to set Sookie up by gaining her trust and delivering her to Marnie/Antonia who has chosen to keep all of her followers locked up against their will. She has also casted another spell which has Eric under her control. Seems she is definitely holding all of the cards, well at least the major ones right now.



Lafayette is still under the control of that dead woman, Mavis, in search of her baby and brings a stolen Mikey back to Hoyt’s house. The house was the same one that she lived in before she was killed. Confused and scared out of his mind when “she” points a gun at him, Hoyt runs outside and notifies Jason. Him, Andy, Terry and Arlene all race over to Hoyt’s place to rescue Mikey and get to the bottom of the situation. They call in reinforcements, Jesus, to help. He discovers the real problem, learns of the woman’s troubled past and manages to calm her down. During some kind of magical process which includes them digging up both hers and her babies’ body, she comes to grip with how the two of their lives ended. Now at peace, Mavis leaves Lafayettes‘ body and ascends, assumingly into heaven, with her baby in hand.



A sub-plot stemming from this encounter is Andy’s continuous issues with “V”. He drank a significant amount before reporting to the scene and gets into a little scrape with his cousin, Terry. Jason recognizes the symptons and doesn’t accept Andy’s worn out apologies for always messing up. Sam and Luna go on a camping trip to make her daughter forget about the confrontation with her father. They seem to have a pretty good time and of course wind up sexing it up in a tent. All the while, Tommy shifts into Sam and pays the werewolf pack leader a little visit. After some very disrespectful words are exchanged, Tommy/Sam gets the crap beat out of him.



Luckily Alcide, who has just recently pledged his allegiance to the pack, all for Debbie, manages to pull him out of there. But not before the beating he takes causes him to shift back into his natural form. This discovery causes the pack leader and everyone else who participated in the beating to step back in shock. They obviously thought they were kicking the dog s**t out of Sam.



Before he is forced out of his home at gunpoint, Hoyt places all Jessica’s belongings into a box labeled “For you, Monster”. Pretty harsh, huh? He asks Jason to take it to her. 2+2= Jessica riding Jason pretty well in the back of his truck not too long after he tries to leave. Surprise, surprise. Nothing but drama will come from having sex with your best friend’s ex-girl. Looks like it was fun though.



Sookie isn’t able to free Eric from his Marnie/Antonia prison but she manages to escape with some help from Tara, who seems to still very much be her best friend. Much to Debbie’s dismay, Sookie survives her run-in with the Marnie/Antonia clan and then proceeds to try to warn Bill of her master plan to interfere with a vampire “Tolerance” rally. Many humans will be on hand and it’s the perfect place for her take over control of the vampires and have them slaughter as many humans as possible in front of a number of spectators.



With only three episodes left, things are really gearing up for a major finale on True Blood. With the eventual resentment of vampires by the entire human race looming on the horizon thanks to Marnie/Antonia, things will only get worse before they get any better. Now there also seems to be some tension brewing between the Bellefleur cousins and the impending confrontation between Jason and Hoyt once he finds out Jason is porking his ex. I wonder if Eric will return to his normal mindset of killing and not giving a flying f**k about anything before the end of the season. New episode this Sunday, ‘til then go do bad things.



Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @Sean_Guard

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.8 - "Spellbound"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the latest episode of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood - "Spellbound"...



This week we’ll start things off a little different. Since the episode began with how last week’s ended… with Jessica about to be turned into a very crispy vampire by the sun. Our resident hero, and member of the Bon Temps sheriff office, Jason comes to her rescue just in the nick of time. I began to question just how he managed to wrestle her to the floor, him being a mere human and all, but she quickly took over. But not to resist him, to deliver a kiss on his lips no doubt for saving her life. To this inevitable gesture, he responds with a very passionate kiss of his own. He returns her to her resting place besides Bill who states that they are forever in his debt.



The drama surrounding Jessica certainly doesn’t end there. After ending his life in a very vivid dream, she breaks up with Hoyt for real. Obviously he doesn’t take too kindly to having his heart being broken by the vampire he cherishes. Some pretty hurtful things get spurted from his lips before he revokes her invitation to “their” home. Crying (or bleeding) all over herself, she goes to see Jason. Upon hearing what she has done to his best friend and learning of her feelings for him, he also takes back his invitation to her banning her from his home. We all know what they say about a woman scorned. I imagine what hell is about to be unleashed by a vampire one.



Sookie and Eric have yet another rather intimate love-making session. This time after they drink one another’s blood. They fall into another one of those vampire blood induced fantasy worlds and wake up in bed, naked. The audience then learns that she has fallen in love with this new Eric. Beats me how someone can fall in love after only a few days (a week max) but it is fantasy TV after all.



After joining a new pack, Alcide and Debbie learn that they are to stay out of the impending collision between the witches and vamps from their pack leader. Debbie voices more of her concern to her boyfriend about Sookie. The conversation ultimately ends with Alcide reluctantly agreeing to stay away from Sookie forever. This promise is extremely short-lived as he chases after her to warn her of the danger she’s in because of this wiccan-fanger conflict. His actions are all caught by the very watchful eye of none other than Debbie.



Lafayette is not only visited again by the singing dead lady hovering over Arlene and Terry’s baby boy but is possessed by her during a dream he has about her past. Apparently, that dirty looking doll that Mikey has been paling around with is what is connecting her to him. Surprise, surprise. While being possessed by her, Lafayette breaks into the Bellefluer’s home and takes little Mikey along with the old doll while his parents are asleep.



After kicking out his brother, Sam pays a visit to Luna to make amends. A visit which is interrupted by her ex and daughter’s father who is also the leader of Alcide and Debbie’s new pack. Hmmm, the plot sure does know how to thicken around these parts. Tommy on the other hand uses his new skill to “skinwalk” to pose as Mrs. Forternberry in order to sell her house and make a quick buck. Oh Tommy, when will you ever learn?



After surviving the night, Bill contacts Marnie (her witch-possessed version) and offers to meet in person to try to make amends for what happened to her all those many years ago. She agrees and they have a foggy confrontation in the cemetery. Where else, right? Sookie and Eric decide to join the fight. She learns that her best friend, Tara, is on the other side of the battle lines which makes this storyline even that much better. Of course, both Bill and possessed Marnie arrive with super back-up and the melee ensues. Eric strikes first killing one of Marnie’s followers while Bill prohibits Pam from ending Tara just in the nick of time. Pam, obscenely pissed, runs off to find some other schmo to eat. Sookie manages to thwart some witch following naysayer with her fairy powers before she catches a stray bullet. Who else than Alcide shows up to whisk her away, bullet wound still bleeding and all. Wow, what an episode.



I’m exhausted just from writing about it. I loved this week’s as well as all of the others. I know I say that every week but it’s the truth. This has got to be one of the better season’s going to date. On the foreshadowing front, I feel that something will take place between Debbie and her new pack leader. Seeing Alcide chase after Sookie will only further push her away and into someone else’s arms…or paws. There’s a small possibility of a rift being formed between Sookie and Tara due to their completely opposite feelings towards vampires. Of course they won’t kill off the main character, so Sookie will somehow survive her gunshot wound and wake up to now having three men drool over her. I also have a feeling that Jessica will go rogue now that she’s been shunned by the only two men she’s had feelings for. Guess we’ll all find out starting with the new episode this Sunday. ‘Til then, go forth and do bad things.



Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.7 - "Cold Grey Light of Dawn"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the latest episode of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood, "Cold Grey Light of Dawn"...



The full moon evening that took us to the end of the last episode also opens the beginning of this one. Sookie and Eric must really have been pretty backed up because they’re love fest lasted an awfully long time. Beginning in the forest and ending in Sookie’s bed with different stops in-between, they made sure they satisfied their sexual desire. They also enjoyed a nice cuddle session afterwards which got a little cheesy for my tastes. Still seeing Eric act like a perfect gentleman is very strange, and a little sickening at times.



After joining a new pack, Alcide and Debbie stumble upon the two of them while they were still banging it out in the woods which leaves them with some pretty precarious expressions on their faces. Alcide looked somewhat disappointed while Debbie looked disappointed at Alcide looking disappointed. After being completely taken over by the most feared witch in vampire history, Marnie manages to escape her prison. Bill isn’t very pleased to discover this as he very well knows what will inevitably happen to all vampires with her on the loose.



Lafayette and Jesus decide to leave Jesus’ uncles place after the very weird occurrence from earlier in the evening. Lafayette learns that he is a medium for dead people. He can not only be used as a vessel for them, similar to that of Marnie, but he can also see them. As a matter of fact, he is nearly frightened out of his skin by the sight of the same woman who Arlene’s baby, Mikey, can see. That portion of the episode was especially spooky to me. The dead is really starting to take over this show. Tara, after narrowly escaping the clutches of a very pissed off Pam, shoos her girlfriend out of Bon Temp for good in order to keep her safe. After some heavy drinking she comes across a possessed Marnie and learns of her new found power. She recruits a team of vampire-hating individuals and builds a team to stand by Marnie in a war against the vamps.



Sam learns of Luna’s pissed attitude when he tries to contact her. After a brief conversation, they solve the mystery to their misunderstanding. Tommy can now shift into humans and this realization leaves both of them feeling very “uneasy” to say the least. This uneasiness prompts Sam to have had enough of his brother’s exploits and kicks him out of his life. Pam tries her best to restore her skin by having the vampire doctor lady as I call her do a skin peel, literally, and instruct her that she must inject a chemical into her body for the rest of her life to assist with the healing process. The culmination of the episode has Bill order every vampire in the area to silver themselves to avoid “meeting the sun” should Marnie cast a spell over them all. She does just that but somehow Jessica manages to escape her silver prison and makes her way toward the daylight. With Jason speeding towards her rescue, the episode reaches its end. Will Jessica reach hers?



Truly the best episode of the season yet. Between all of the witchcraft, unexplained dead folk and epic climax at the end, the story is really heating up to an impending war between the witches and the fanged. Knowing the authentic True Blood way, many of these stories will coincide with one another before the end of the season. Others will surely carry over into the next one. Sunday never seemed so far away before. ‘Til it arrives, go forth and do bad things.



Sean Guard

Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler

Review Blood: True Blood Recap 4.6 - "I Wish I Was the Moon"

Sean Guard sinks his teeth into the latest episode of the popular U.S. vampire series True Blood, "I Wish I Was the Moon"...

Sookie has been rather warmly welcomed back into the world of sex by her amnesiac of a housemate vampire, Eric. The episode starts off very steamy but it is interrupted by King Bill. After realizing what has happened to Eric firsthand, he suggests that Eric suffer the “true death”, of course. Although he is probably un-reparably hurt by the sight of Eric and Sookie’s naked bodies entangled in each other, you can see him struggle with his decision to take Eric into custody and kill him. Of course, his “heart” gets the best of him at the end (like we didn’t see that coming, they’re not going to kill off Eric) and lets the Viking return to his Sookie. The episode ends with them getting it on pretty good in the woods. After all, it's everyone’s fantasy to sex someone in the forest, isn’t it?

Lafayette and Jesus find themselves dealing with some pretty serious magic that seems beyond being dark when they arrive at Jesus’ uncles’ house. Between Lafayette being possessed by another one of Jesus’ uncles and Marnie being possessed by the witch that has been taking her over as of late, I’d say this episode was pretty freaky indeed. Tara’s girlfriend comes to find her in Bon Temp and they have a sex session of their own. Instead of leaving right away, they find themselves having stuck around a little too long when Pam arrives to exact her revenge.

Jason, afraid of becoming a werepanther, handcuffs himself to his bed only to be reluctantly freed by his sister. He manages to escape her watchful, worrying eye and scurries off into the woods in an attempt to separate himself in case he shifts into a big, black cat. Having consumed her blood, Jessica comes to his aid when she senses his distress. She ignores her shift at Merlotte’s to stay with him in the forest…for comfort. Despite not changing into a panther, Jason finds himself sharing a moment with Jessica which further foreshadows something happening between the two of them. Alcide is being forced into joining a new pack after Debbie goes behind his back and tells the leader that she’ll join. His brief encounter with Sookie in the woods shows that he still cares for her.

Arlene and Terry have lost their home to an inexplicable fire. Their “devil spawn” child, Mikey, is now seeing some strange woman that no one else can’t. Another freaky moment. I’m sure there’s some sort of connection between everything that has been happening to them and the dingy doll that Jessica gave to Mikey as a present. The little bundle of doom is sure to be a handful in the coming weeks. Tommy, somehow, discovers that he can now shift into other people, not just animals. He un-voluntarily shifts into his brother, Sam, and manages to score some Latino booty when Luna comes a calling all hot and bothered. After he beds her, he dismisses her good and proper-like which obviously confuses and angers Luna. No doubt Sam will have to deal with the fact that his brother has managed to sleep with his new girl before he has.

I like the development between Jason and Jessica. I feel it brings some interesting substance to a storyline that might just have been the weakest on the show. I’m quite interested in seeing what the newly inhabited Marnie will now do to the vampires of the show. A possible all out witch-vampire war might be on the horizon from her return to witchy power. The fact that this episode kind of revolved around the full moon shining down upon the town was a cool plot detail that was consistently pointed out. Seeing how the usual season length for True Blood is 12 episodes, we are half way through this one. That was quick. I’m quite sure everyone is looking forward to the second half. While we wait for it begin, go forth and do bad things.

Sean Guard
Follow me on Twitter @SilentScribbler